Healing Your Soul Part Two


‘God spends an entire lifetime working on a believer’s heart. The heart is his greatest masterpiece, His greatest creation. That is what He is interested in – Your heart’ Rolland Baker

So far we have looked at rooting our identity in papa’s love for us in our first edition HEALING YOUR SPIRIT, and in our second edition HEALING YOUR SOUL PART ONE, we looked at the process of renewing the mind. What we believe we become; for this reason we must take a closer look at our belief about ourselves and our world.

In this edition we are looking at healing the emotional side of our soul. Our emotions play a large role in our lives, and yet many people have not learned to handle their emotions in a healthy way. Instead our culture encourages us to push them down; ignoring the impact they have on our bodies. Doing this only leads to more pain and anguish.

Healing your emotions is a topic that is close to my heart; I’ve always felt different to most Christians in respect to emotions, I’ve never been a fan of bottling up my emotions, and it has always felt right to express them to the people closest to me in my life. This belief has gotten me into trouble many times and for a long time I became confused about what role emotions play in life. I’ve heard preachers say ‘you should never listen to your feelings, they lie to you, and it doesn’t matter how you feel, you must suck it up and get on with it!’ Unfortunately when you don’t listen to your God given emotions as a survivor of trauma, you end up falling apart!

There is a difference between emotions and feelings. When you don’t feel like going to work; you need to go regardless of how you feel. Feelings are the surface of our emotions, they present themselves as attitudes. An attitude is an outward expression of what is going on in the mind, if you’d rather stay home with your pajamas on, watching TV, and eating chocolate, then you’re not going to feel like going to work! It’s safe to say when it comes to your attitude and feelings, it’s OK not listen to them. But and it’s a big but, when it comes to your emotions, it’s not safe to ignore them. Emotions are the core feelings attached to our soul/heart.  Changing the way we think will not change our core emotions when it comes to soul wounds.

I believe our emotions are signals, signals of unresolved pain, begging us to listen to them. And when we do listen to them, they create a pathway to healing. We are made in the image of God, God did not make us the same EXCEPT for our emotions, He made US in HIS image. Therefore God has the exact same emotions that we do, I know He handles them better than us but it still remains that God created our emotions for a reason. So then why do we have to experience the bad ones, like sadness, anger, or guilt? Our strongest emotional expressions are tied to our closest relationships, God has programmed us this way to help us deal with pain and grief in an intimate relationship, but the problem begins when our closest relationships are unhealthy, abusive, traumatic experiences; then instead of creating intimacy and love it creates pain and sorrow. God experiences his emotions in the safety of the trinity, free to be vulnerable in his relationship with Jesus and the Holy Spirit. When God experiences grief, he mourns with his closest friends; they comfort him and share in his sadness. Their relationship is perfect, the perfect illustration of intimacy and love. Most of our relationships, especially as children, where not perfect and therefore we were hurt by the very relationships God created to help us. We are traumatized as a result and carry deep soul wounds from these traumatic experiences in our childhood.

‘We cannot will ourselves to maturity; we must go through a process’ Dr John Townsend

Now what? We know we have these soul wounds, but how do we heal them and what do they have to do with your emotions? I believe the root of a soul wound is always emotional; it has a strong emotional attachment to it, and can be healed through processing it. I’ve been to so many physiologists over the past year and I must say I’m extremely disappointed in the therapies and theories they hold so high, higher than the client’s needs sometimes.  I walked out of some appointments more triggered and raw than I did when I walked in! I understand the research involved in creating therapies to help traumatized people, but for me it felt clinical, like I was a number on a page with XYZ wrong with me, and I must do ABC to get fixed! I was told if I allow myself to experience the traumatic memories of my past that I would re-traumatize myself and may even end up in a psyche ward! I felt silenced once again. Encouraging trauma survivors to be afraid of their pain induces anxiety.  Instead I have journeyed this healing process with the Lord guiding my steps. One of the biggest lessons He has taught me is to not be afraid of my pain and my memories. It’s been twelve months of working through each memory and the strong emotions attached to them, each time I face the fear, I conquer it. Each time I allow God’s perfect healing love into that part of my soul, I am released of its grip on my heart.

‘When I value your feelings, I will not only make it safe for you to communicate to me, but I will listen and respond. I will invite you to go deeper and show me what it is you need, so we can move from understanding to decision – making and action.’ Danny Silk

Our soul wounds are attached to strong unresolved emotions, for the wound to heal, we must be willing to experience the pain, sit with it, understand it, and finally let it go. I highly recommend doing this process with an experienced counsellor trained in emotionally focused therapy, or in prayer ministry. I strongly believe in the power of counselling but unfortunately it can be difficult to find a good counsellor, I encourage you to try four or five before giving up on seeing someone. A good counsellor can help you walk through the process and can give you an outlet to tell the truth to someone. If you’re not keen on the idea of a counsellor, find a close friend, or mentor, or pastor that can help you process your pain.

It’s a process, you’re not going to feel healed in a week, it may take months or even years to work through your trauma but it’s worth every second of every painful moment; to be released from the grip of your past. To be able to experience joy and love wholeheartedly. To have your relationship with your papa restored.

Join us next week for the last edition to this series HEALING YOUR BODY.

Much Love,

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Disclaimer: grief is a normal part of the healing journey, allow yourself to grieve your loses without short circuiting it. Understand that it is grief and not depression.

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